“I always admired you because you were real, not fake like everyone else.”
Just within the last year or two, BranFlakes (that’s my nickname for my high school BFF) said this to me. Literally, I was sitting in my living room, reading her message, straight up in the middle of my 30s, and I suddenly realized what she was actually saying. I felt pretty stupid. But it’s on-brand for my naivete.
I mean, I always knew that people wear a facade. People can be fake. But I don’t think I realized the level to which inauthentic people existed. I married a man who is the same person at home as he is everywhere else. My parents were the same at home as everywhere else. I can say with absolute certainty that I did not realize that almost everyone in high school was basically faking it.
I want to blame all of this on social media. But, y’all, this was before we even had social media. I literally graduated high school the year before MySpace became a thing. And a few years before Facebook.
Nothing New
Unfortunately, inauthentic people have pretty much always existed.
Have you heard of Judas? He was literally a disciple whom Jesus called to follow Him. He watched Jesus perform miracles, listened to Jesus’ teachings, and dined with Jesus. He labored with Jesus. It seems like someone who was that invested in Jesus’ life would have been an authentic friend. But, he wasn’t. And Jesus knew it. (Heads up: Jesus knows everything.) In the end, Judas betrayed Jesus for about $200, showing his true colors.
Judas was the epitome–a prime example–of a fake friend. He wasn’t an authentic follower of Christ. He was faking it all along.
Am I the only one absolutely revolted by this?
I doubt it.
But I know my typical revulsion toward inauthenticity. And so many of us follow the world’s template for inauthenticity; inauthenticity is everywhere. If we scroll through Instagram, we’re bound to see filtered images of other women who’ve literally changed the length of their torsos, the width of their thighs, and the shape of their upper arms. They’ve augmented their eyes with filters and cleared off every last pimple from their faces. It’s almost impossible to feel worthwhile when everything shining through our phones is curated to the world’s standard of perfection. And it’s so easy to download apps to join in on the crowd, to use artificial intelligence to add to or take away from images before we post them to the world.
What’s worse is that the inauthenticity doesn’t stop there. We bring it into our real-world interactions, go farther than just presenting our best selves, and present a fake self. Maybe we do it because we’re afraid we’ll be rejected. Maybe we do it because we don’t like who we really are. Maybe we are inauthentic because we honestly don’t have a clue who we are.
The Truth
Ladies, when we’re being inauthentic, we’re sinning against God.
And how can we bring others to a truly forgiving, loving, just, and authentic God if we aren’t living an authentic life?
Sometimes, I hate the truth. But there it is. (How do I know? He tells us in His word. More than once.)
With all the love in my heart, I challenge you to join me in self-evaluation of our authenticity in these areas:
- Money. Are we married women being honest with our husbands about the money we spend? Are we all making sure that we’re honoring our boss by working when we’re on the clock?
- Relationships. Are we bringing our best selves to our close relationships without bringing our false selves? Are we being friends with character, who keep promises, hold trusted secrets, and reciprocate love that’s received? Are we being honest with everyone, from acquaintances to closest friends?
- Online. Are we presenting a balanced view of our lives online? Are we being sure to avoid over-filtering our images or lives so as to appear dishonest to our fellow humans? Are we being truthful in all aspects of our communication?
- Ourselves. Are we being honest with ourselves about our struggles, successes, weaknesses, and strengths? Are we filling ourselves with Truth so that it will flow out from our mouths to others and through our fingers online?
In these categories, we’re probably not one hundred percent authentic or inauthentic. We’re more likely to find ourselves somewhere on a spectrum–somewhere between the extreme ends. Pray about this and seek Christ as you work through these sneaky-fake ways of living.
Let us press forward and allow God to work on us so that we may be more conformed to His authentic image.